Being on the Road - Are you on the road?

We all want to leap forward, quicker than we can actually move. Being on the road means to be at ease wherever you are, enjoy the ride as they say. 

Even when you are in darkest times, it is like being in a rollercoaster, gong up and down.
The more you make the ride happen, the quicker the road opens up.
Surrender wherever you are...

Transcript

Nathalie: 
So welcome. Today, me and Disha are going to talk about being on the road and being on the road is like being on the highway. sometimes when we are in a foreign country and we are in a car and we see all those beautiful lights and we're like, Ooh, very excited. And the other part of the road, you see maybe a dark forest and we're like, Ooh, we're not going to go there. Or perhaps some people really like to go there. But in the end, if we choose the sparkle side and we go there, we can find out that maybe it was not what we thought it would be. It looks like plastic, or, I don't know, the people are not friendly, we don't know.

And if we take the other side, it can be one of the most beautiful experiences we ever had. So in the end, when we are on the road and we take an exit, anything can happen.

Disha: 
It sounds like a video game. 

Nathalie: 
It does in a way. I think our lives is in a way is a video game , but most people are like in uh, you say like in, in the violence game ? And it is. So which action , do you take or do you like being on the road because that's what I always loved a lot when I was in South America. You can fly from one way to another but I never did. I would take like from the north of Argentina to into Brazil and the bus ride would take 27 hours I thought it was the best time of my life , just being on the road, this movement you have inside you when you fly from one place to another, you get from this culture and you get dropped in another one. Doesn't give you like the same excitement.

Disha: 
Now, I think you talk about the sense of adventure and not knowing what comes next, which is wonderful. But what would you say to those of us who are not so adventurous, who like everything planned in life?

Nathalie: 
You're missing out. Actually, you're missing out. There's so much to experience. There's so much to do. Not that it's, not as an ego thing, but just to, you know, like when, look at how children, how they, go into the playground and see a swing, like, Ooh, and then they see something else. And like, Oh, I'm going to do that. And they get over overwhelmed and then you get them home and they're really full of excitement ?

But when we grow older, most people, say, Oh no, I know. No. I think that's scary. I say, you don't know . Perhaps you should try it.. 

Disha: 
Do you think that affects our creative expression? 

Nathalie: 
Yeah , because when you keep on walking the same path, and it's not that it is bad walking the same path, but it will give you the same result day after day after day. And then most people get bored and when we do, when we get bored, like our creative capabilities just shrink. 

Disha: 
So what you're saying, in essence, is that it's important to bring , external stimulus, or different external stimulus in our life. We should make an effort, if it's not happening already, to have that, in our lives, so that we can have some different experiences.

Nathalie: 
But actually it can be very small, because even if you're very attached to how you do things, perhaps tomorrow when you're on your bicycle or in your car you decide, you know what, today I'm going to turn left instead of right. In the end you will turn right again because that is where you need to be, but just, just do it for a second. Just see what happens if you just take another route. It will get you to the same place. But you will have a different experience.

Disha:
Interesting

Nathalie: 
So we sometimes think that we have to do big things to make a change. But actually, it can be very small things. Perhaps you always eat cereal in the morning different you think OK I'm going to eat a mango, but it's a whole different experience and something happens. You're still on the same road, but you, took another part, just another path to, to experience it. And maybe the day after tomorrow you think, no, no, no, mango is not my thing. I think I'm going back to the cereal, but you gave yourself a different experience and you got back onto the thing that works for you.

So also by, grassing in a way, uh, just take another route, buy a book you would never buy, just to, to find out how it would be just to read it , or play a game you would never do, or , go into a store you normally not go to.

We always believe that it has to be like, I need to move to a different country then I will find my way. Because when I live in a country where it is warm, then everything will be fine. For a while, yes.

But after six months, it all will be the same. You will start miss the rainy weather, for example, in Holland. You miss the green, those beautiful trees and anything can happen. And being on the road just means, there's one road that is very clear. It's from the beginning to the end. . And it's always there.. It's like this thick thread that is always here.

And we are the ones that, well, we put ribbons on it in a way. Like a red one, and a yellow one, and a blue one. But this one is like this very strong current. 

Nathalie: 
And, if we take too much ribbon of a certain kind, then in a way we, it's not that we block ourselves, but that we delay our progress in life.

Disha: 
Does that matter?

Nathalie: 
Yes it does actually, it does, because you came with a certain purpose and you will notice when you delay your progress, everything will start to, how you say that, become wary in a way.

Disha: 
Interesting. Can you elaborate on that a little bit?

Nathalie: 
Because life wants to move forward, you want to evolve, deep down inside we all want to evolve. But most people get, because of where they grew up or what they have experienced, , they shut down in a way. And when they do, they get stuck at a certain point and um, and then the progress just stops. And you can see that. You can see it in their eyes, for example.

They stopped walking the road. So maybe the progress is not the right word to use, but you stopped walking. Because you stayed in a certain corner because you thought it was comfortable or you believed that you could not get out of it. There are a lot of things why you get stuck in a certain corner.

Disha: 
It sounds like a perfect place. If somebody has that feeling, do you think that's also just the right place to start, the next stage of their progress?

Nathalie:
Yeah, well, first you need to acknowledge that you are in this certain: feeling that you are in this certain corner. And even that everything is not feeling right, you're very comfortable in not feeling right.

So you're like, I don't know, I think it's not, this suit is not very, it doesn't fit very well anymore, but you know, it's the one I have, it's the one I have. And it starts itching and stuff like that. So you start noticing that, it's not for you anymore.

Disha: 
Interesting, so the awareness is arising a little bit that it's what, where you are or what you're doing or what you have is perhaps not 100 percent what you, want. But then it's also a fight with your ego self that, to maintain the status quo and stay comfortable or to go out and do something different, evoke a different road. 

Nathalie: 
Yeah, to stay, especially staying comfortable because you know, you have this but what would happen if this would disappear, you know, yeah, Oh my God. And then people get distracted and they get off the road and the progress ends. They stop walking and the longer they are at this stage in their life, the more difficult it becomes.

Disha:
Can you describe what kind of, uh, Emotions or feelings that one might be going through at this stage? 

Nathalie: 
Um, one of the biggest one is Lack of support, lack of recognition, lack of money, all those kinds of lacks, , This is one, this is one big sign, and the other one is, uh, loss of energy. Feeling drained, not waking up, energized anymore, losing, sight of life, which means, not seeing, the good things anymore.

The beautiful trees, or the birds that sing, or your children that play, in a way the system gets shut down, yeah you become bleak in a way. Do you know what bleak, 

Disha: 
Yeah, bleak? Yeah. It doesn't well, we can describe English weather sometimes as bleak but apart from that, 

Nathalie: 
Yeah. So you, actually you lose sense of life, zest of life, actually. Even talking about it makes me heavy. 

Disha: 
Yeah. I, I'm feeling heavy. Feeling so drained already thinking about it, and my next question is like, No, I don't want to feel like this, so what do I do?

Nathalie:
So what do you do? When you are stuck for such a long time in this part, you thought you were very comfortable. Uh, you cannot jump because you are to attached. You can, but it will ask a lot of courage. And sometimes it happens. It happens when someone says, Oh, I am so sick of it. And they turn everything around. So it does happen.

And then they just make choices. And other people like. What did you do? What happened to you? Wow. This was courageous. And then they start thinking about their own life and said, okay. And another time when it happens is when someone really important in your family dies. Because when that happens, there's a moment of pure presence. And from one moment to the next you look at your life , what's this? What did I make of it? And as they sometimes say, the death of one is the life of another, and in a way it is true, but differently than they mean it. So it is that you realize that, okay, wait a second, I can do this for the rest of my life, but I don't want that because I will be wasting my life.

So those are very, those are big events big events that make you leap from one moment to the next. But for most people, they need to loosen up a little bit. So you start with the small things, you start a new course, which you would never do. For example, I like yoga and meditation, reading my books. I threw out my television a long time ago. and I think the, A year ago, I thought I'm going I'm going to try kickbox. So I did, which was really out of my comfort zone. So I went to this man, which actually was really funny because I met him at a coffee and he used to work for an uncle of mine and I knew him from this club where I lived as a teenager.

Everything was coming together. And I went there and then one of his friends was also there and he said, so this is really out of your comfort zone, huh? And it was. And I did that for six months. And then after six months, I thought, nah, I don't like to punish, to push, to punch people. You know, this is not me,

But it did teach me a lot. It was so different, so different. And I felt like this rush of energy, like this, this really, strong workout and after a couple of months he said, Nathalie, he said, you have the best condition of everyone. You can do it for an all, on whole hour. And I always thought I could not exercise and stuff like that. So it was a really big thing 

Disha: 
Interesting. Yeah. So You put yourself in a very different environment that you normally would not. And that showed you something about yourself that you didn't believe you had.

Nathalie: 
Exactly. and that is how you get out of it. Because by doing the same, you will always be doing the same 

Disha: 
Yeah like Einstein said. 

Nathalie: 
Sometimes it's just, and you know, not everyone needs to go to kick box, but for some, you know, they think, Oh, yoga why would you do that? It is so soft and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Maybe they should try that. Just, life exists when we just try out everything there is. For my one things I really like, I haven't been traveling for quite some time, but when I do, I always try all the food I see.

Disha: 
Oh yeah. And

Nathalie: 
And I sometimes think uh, this is awful. And it's like, oh, this is interesting. What is it? Oh no, really? And when you find out what it is, but it's interesting just to all those tastes and stuff like that. And then I once was in a certain part of the world, and I went to the desert. And when, later on, I met one of my friends, and he said, did you go by yourself? 

I said, yeah. He said, are you fucking insane? I said, oh. I He said, this is really dangerous. I said, yeah, well, yeah, after a while I thought maybe I should go back. And it was, you know, was and it was, you know, it was a very interesting experience, because it was in the desert, and there was Nothing. Just me. And I felt this serenity, this serenity. I loved it. 

I loved it. It. And then I took a certain path and i felt felt so so and I felt so much unease and I did not know why, but I did. went back, and I and then I went back and I lost the way.

That's why he told me, are you crazy? And I lost the way. But actually I thought it was a good thing afterwards. Because something was ,because something was not right. Something was not right. So it is also sometimes, we lose the way, which is actually a good thing. We get off the pad and we lose it for a second.

And then I thought, okay, Natalie, focus no, they so I was slamming my hat and I was thinking, oh no, they have scorpions and, and snakes. And you know, like from one moment to the next, the serenity was gone felt something and I felt something else. I felt a lot of fear and um, then and I said, focus, focus, focus. And then I found a way back again.

And the reason. I'm telling this that I should not walk on. I felt before that I should not walk on and this is also has to do with the road we walk on the times so most of the times ten steps we feel it like 10 steps before that is not the path to take but we have ideas this is what I should should do. And and then we follow up on that that. But if you but if you look back at your own life your own life, all of you of when you had that feeling and you still continued always something bad happened. In a way, 100 procent. Happened to you. Because you felt you you felt you were walking the wrong path, but still you continued. And because I and because I wanted to go to a certain place I needed to see that was supposed to be very beautiful and this and that. So I walked up a certain hill and I felt so much unease and I walked two more steps and I said no. again, and I and then I went back and then I lost the way. But I found it again, but I, believe this is with everything we do in our lives.

Disha: 
yeah

Nathalie: 
Sometimes people tell me, yeah, but I've been doing this study for three years and I should finish it and so, really, why? Yeah, because I'm almost done. Yeah, so, some, and some get then some, and some get really drained and they lose themselves and they say, yeah, but you know, otherwise I don't have something to fall back on or I said, but said, but you are losing yourself. What is this telling you? 

Disha: 
Yeah, It's very hard that moment where um, Are we listen more to the conditioning, the voices around us and the way of operating in the society, the practical needs when we are trying to balance that with. How we are feeling. inside and, uh, you know, it's not matching. So, and, and we question that sometimes because we're like, oh, is this how I truly feel? Or is this because I'm afraid of this challenge? And, maybe I'm trying to chicken out.

Nathalie: 
But the thing is, and I was thinking about when you were talking, is like, when we are on the road, it's like we feel the breeze in our head. in our hair. It's like you feel touched by life. life. It is such a, uh, it's like someone is lifting you up. 

Disha: 
So you are you're saying saying that it's supposed to be easy. It feels, like, good and easy. 

Nathalie: 
Yeah, that's why I was talking about that you already felt ten steps because I was enjoying it a lot. I loved it I loved being there and I felt this energy and I felt alive, there was not much alive in the desert, but still there's a lot of life actually and but I felt serenity and unity and stuff like that and I should have stayed there because that was because there was a place to, replenish myself, and, uh, but I wanted to go somewhere. I needed to see something. And then the unease came, so means when we are on the road, being on the road means that you are walking through life and you feel free inside. you have you feel this freedom. Even that you have all those obligations, that you need to be there at a certain time but you want to be there. 

Disha: 
Do we still have that feeling even in face of challenges that we face or diffucult situations that we experience. 

Nathalie: 
Then it becomes more difficult. It's not that it is not possible anymore, but it becomes more difficult. You have this film about Rwanda and this, woman inside that, uh, I always thought it was an amazing part of this movie. She's one of the, of, one of the tribes and, her next door neighbor has, a house and he has two bedrooms. But no one knows. So he starts taking people in and he puts them in one of the bathrooms and, , he puts up this big closet in front of it so you cannot see. 

And then then, one , men of the other tribe comes and says, I know that she is here. Where did you hide her? And he says, I don't know what you're talking about, but she hears, all the people inside hear that he says that. It's based on a true story, huh? Actually.

And she sits there and she becomes angry. She becomes so angry, angry. And she starts to get headaches, headaches, headaches. And she sees all those dictators, their faces on the wall. this And she gets like this insight after a while, she forgives and she forgives him. is which is a very, uh, actually an enlightenment experience at that moment.

she And then she sees the faces of Gandhi and all the other peoples that were, um, lifting our spirits actually. and this and when she gets out and this man is in prison, she visits him. be in and they used to be in the same classroom together as children. and and she says, I forgive you. becomes really and he starts crying. But the guard becomes really angry.

How can you forgive him? But she could, you know? even if her road was so difficult, she did choose, not, to hate another, human being. Because she also noticed what it would do with herself. So those are very difficult times. Someone wants to, wants you to be gone of this world. How would, how would we behave?

Disha: There's Yeah there's a, it's a very beautiful way of thinking, which I started practicing as well, which is that to think that I want to forgive somebody, first I need to question myself. Do I really want to live with this feeling of hatred? Is this how I want to feel. 

Nathalie: 
Always, because you are the one having the monkey on your shoulder.

Disha: 
Because To live with that feeling and to live with that kind of. Emotion is so draining. is. That, it's self preservation, really. 

Nathalie: 
It is, and you get off the path, you get distracted because you attract more of those situations in your life because it's such a big burden in your field, in your energetic field. This strong emotion of hatred towards someone else is filling your whole energy field. And most people don't even know that.

It does. And it gives you a certain color in a way. Which means when you go into the street and you always take this route and you enjoy this route, a lot of crazy things can happen on the way because this is in your energetic field.

Disha: 
Hmm. Interesting. 

Nathalie: 
So, um, actually you take yourself off the road that you need to be on by holding on to the grudge you have towards someone else. And I'm not saying it is easy because some people have the most awful experiences. 

Disha: 
Oh, uh, yeah I think it's, while I don't feel that one person's, we, can compare experiences, everyone has their own challenges in life, I do feel that in the end there is an awareness that can happen that everyone is acting and behaving from the level of awareness and consciousness. that they have. And to expect somebody to do better than that, when they're not ready, is, in a way, setting ourselves up for disappointment. 

Nathalie: 
And I sometimes also tell people when they come here and they said, yeah, but I did this in the past and we feel really bad about it. I'm ashamed and stuff like that. I said, it, now you know, they but then you had a certain awareness and had a certain awareness. you thought you were doing, you were doing the right thing,

So you cannot blame yourself for what you have done in the past. You can take responsibility for what you did and you can decide that in the road you travel now that, uh, if a certain situation arises again that you want to respond differently. If you do, you have to find out

Becasue that we don't know and um, yeah, so when we when we start, , living our life to the max, the road opens up. 

Disha:
So with that, would you say that everything that we have done, and everywhere we have been, was, for that moment, the correct road to be on, to bring us to where we are? 

Nathalie: 
There is never a wrong road. because we always say this is the wrong turn. Well, in the end , you will get at the destination you need to be. It was not the wrong turn, it was a different turn. So even So even with the experience we had, there were not wrong decisions. that moment, At that moment it was the right, the right decision.

It was not something that you need to linger on, because life wants you to move forward and forward and expand and develop and experience and live Truly live if you live in even if you live in a very difficult situation then still what is inside of you is inside of you . This is your responsibility

And you know when you grow up in a war scene for example Which is a very difficult situation to grow up in to grow in, even then, even then be with it is to the only way now. to be with it is to be Here and now, and now. And then here and now.

When you get out of it, you need and then after a while when you get out of it, you need to work on everything that it has done to your body. Because you did experience it, even if you are in the now. If you are in the presence, you did experience it. So it needs to be out of the body. It needs to be out of the field. But to get through is to be, to be inside as much as possible. much 

As much as possible, because there, it is always bright and the light is always there. the light But our fear of taking the wrong path, making the wrong choice, is actually the thing, thing, I wanted to i wanted to say that kills us. That's heavy a very heavy word for me. But, it's actually the thing our true calling that ends our true calling in this life. 

Nathalie: 
Next time, me and Anouk will talk about the layers of being, the ones I mentioned during the intro of the podcast. The layers of being are connected to the levels of consciousness, for we will talk about the I, the we, and the being consciousness. We as humanity are changing, we are evolving, and we are expanding our consciousness beyond our comprehension yet, but more about that in our next episode.

If you have any questions, you can leave them on Spotify or your own favorite podcast app. And if you're interested in having a session with me, the Spirits, the Guides and the Counselors, face to face or online, you can find us on nathalienevali.nl or on Instagram, in the heart of being.